surroundings...

I'm surrounded by people but yet I feel lonely...

somehow, that phrase sums up all the feelings I have right now.
i'm not talking about my family, coz' they're awesome, but people here implies my friends, my peers.
i'm surrounded by many people, but yet i'm lonely.

makes me wonder,
is it me or is it them?
i feel that it is me.
problem is, there's no one trying to tell me where i'm wrong in behaving or socializing.

what on earth should i do?
stop making friends and be a self centred person?
that's not exactly an option is it?
or is my character only suitable to some people?

some tried to tell me that you should start talking to people.
i'm not the kind of person who text messages or calls people on random.
if there's no need to talk to them, i don't.

i'm not sure.

ironically, people who i don't meet everyday or talk to everyday are those who knows me best.
and i thought the people who i hang out with knows me.

person A asks person B thrice to go somewhere.
i thought i was close with A, because i hang out with her and i thought that A and B weren't close.
but A asks B to go, and didn't even tell me.
now, i know that it's stupid or unimportant to feel this way but i can't help but wonder:
A asks B and didn't even care to tell me?

which brings me to my other question:

i thought i was close.
why? was inviting me to go as well too hard?

and it leads to yet another question:
why no invite?
is because of 'me'?

typing this, i'm reminded of another story.

a friend of mine has a party and i was invited.
dude who has supposed to invite me, and whom i thought i was close to, didn't even remember to tell me that i was invited.
i had to find out from someone else.
what, was texting me too hard?
no credit?
what?
is it me?
damn!!!

all i can say for now is
DAMN!!!